New Poem

I'm the master of disaster
she's the mistress of distress
when I'm tryin to run faster
she's just stirrin' up a mess

I met her on a Monday
Tuesday she hit my car
Wednesday came we stayed out late
I think we'd gone too far
By Friday she was pregnant
and she said that it was mine
but Sunday came, it's just the flu
and I am bustin' rhymes

Janice called me Tuesday
her best friend in all the world
she offered me her body, a haircut and a curl
Mary called me Wednesday
her best buddy in the state
she dropped by after work and stayed
way way way too late
Her next door neighbor Jason
call me up to go for drinks
I knew I was in trouble
when he showed up with a wink

I'm the master of my disaster
she's the mistress of my stress
when I slowed down some to catch her
I got in an awful mess

Now I'm sittin' here in County
Jason's sitting by my side
'cause she looked like she was 20
16 took me for a ride

DMV revoked my license
the judge revoked my bail
she promises she'll wait for me
three times a week, e-mail

But you see life sure is funny
and I got in the last laugh
my jail bait's now my honey
we got hitched my stress is past

I'm the master of her disaster
she's the mistress of my stress
I now give her all my money
when she's happy life's the best